Accepting Responsibility

This is my first time blogging. Not something that I ever thought I would be doing. But as much as you try to swim against the norm it eventually spins your ass around and the next thing you know your one amongst the other sheep. Just look at the “I’ll never sell out hippies” of the 60’s. A good portion of them bought into the “ME” attitude of the 80’s then went out and bought sushi and espresso makers. Don’t get me wrong I like sushi and espresso! Wallstreet is one of my favourite movies and I never really saw Gordon Gecko as a bad guy. What I am getting at here is that eventually we all give in to mainstream vices now and then, some just more then others but that’s a conversation for another time.

I used to work for a cruise line and if you have ever gone cruising you know that the food on these ships is pretty good. Adding in the fact that it is generally all you can eat and served round the clock it is can create a perfect setting for gluttony. Full on cramming burgers into your gob, ordering three desserts at a time, and gunning back gallons of highly caffeinated (or alcohol laced) beverages. My ship sailed out of Port. Canaveral doing 3 and 4 day cruises into the Caribbean where cheap booze and deep fried foods were as abundant as extreme heat and humidity.

We would get very large people on board on a regular basis. I mean really, really large individuals that were bound and determined to get their money’s worth out of the cruise. At first I was scared of these people but then I met the ones that were determined to get there money’s worth AND more. What’s the difference? A simple example would be this...
A moneys worth person frequents the all you can drink soda fountain, take a glass fill it up, take a sip, then top up his/her drink before going to graze at the mid-noon buffet.
A moneys worth and more person waddles up to the soda fountain with their 5 gallon Thermos brand container, full it to the brim (no ice) then cruises over to the buffet piling peel and eat shrimp on one tray and halves of cheese cakes on another. After shovelling this in they wash it down with the aforementioned bucket of soda then hop on their re-enforced handi-scooter and motor off to dinner.

Now here’s the rub…

These scooter riding eating terrors are going to be demanding and I can get by that now. What I can’t get past is the fact that they complain about too many stairs on the ship or that the elevators are too small for them and their scooters. They continually whine about how they were not able to get off the ship because the gang plank is on too much of and angle or bitch that it’s too hot out, we’re in the Caribbean jackass what were you thinking about when you booked the trip? These oversized tubes of goo so thoroughly believe that their over abundance of fat is the cause of some incurable disease. They need to give their flabby, saggy jowls a slap.

Cancer, HIV, leukemia, these are incurable diseases. Put the gravy soaked chicken fried steak sandwich down and pick up a gym pass. Maybe come to the realization that combing all your favourite foods together is not really the best idea. Using artificial means to move your body mass, again a bad idea, get up and walk. Christopher Reeves is looking down on you wishing he had the physical presence and intact motor skills to kick your huge ass.

“It’s glandular” or “I can’t stop” or my favourite is “I was just made this way’. I don’t expect that we all are going to be bone racks. I have not bought into the ideal that corporate heathens are forcing skinny body types as the norm. I carry some extra weight myself. You wanna know why? Because I love eating food! All makes and all types! It’s my fault! I do not exercise any self discipline when a plate of hot wings and jugs of beer are placed in front of me. In fact when my body is telling me to stop I have blatantly ignored it, but having said that, when I am working out and my body is telling me to stop because I ignored it at the hot wing table I again ignore it and push on. It balances everything out and I will never have to complain about not fitting into a regular size elevator or pay for an extra seat on a plane. Now I know that utilizing this type of self control is hard. I know that motivating yourself to get some real exercise is hard to. So drink some cement and harden the fuck up. Its better then having to whine about using a service elevator because you don’t fit in a normal one.

Later!